Warriors Bachelor and Bachelorette
by LightningstormZero
Summary: A quick idea I got. A Bachelor with contestants playing for Squirrelflight season 1 . Contestants playing for Lionblaze Season 2!. My sister helped me. SEASON 2 NOW PLAYING.
1. Pilot Episode

"Hey, what am I doin' here! Why is the only thing i remember being slugged by a 20-ton baseball bat? And what's with the squirrels?" shouted a dark brown tabby tom.

"Cause I say so, or do you want me to open the closet?" snapped a snow-white kittypet.

"Hello!" he shouted to the camera. "And welcome to Warriors Bachelorette! My name is Mittens, your freakishly good-lookin' host!"

"Not so good-lookin' to me," the voice of Brambleclaw called from the closet.

"You shut up!" yelled Mittens.

"UGLY! UGLY! UGLY!" shouted Spiderleg.

"Shut up!" yelled Mittens, now holding a freakishly heavy baseball bat.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"MEW!" yelled a fat kit from the audience. "I want pie! Give me pie or I'll call you all the names my mommy tells me not to say."

"Why should I give pie to an overly fat kit? The answers no, fatty!"

"You're a _meow!_" shouted the fat kit.

"Hey, what's that in my pants?" called a voice in the closet. "It's crawling all around me! Help!"

"Oh, those are just my paws trying to look for some cookies," called another voice in the closet.

"That's it, we're getting too off track! Anyway, my name is-"

"WE KNOW! MITTENS, YOU _MEOW_!" yelled the audience.

"Yo, stop putting your paws in my pants!" called a voice from the closet.

"Anyway, we're here for the Warriors Bachelorette season premeire, featuring Squirrelflight as the Bachelorette!"

Squirrelflight walks out of the closet, dressed in a tutu. She takes a big puff of air, and then turns to the camera. "It's stuffy in there!"

Mittens sighs, and then continues. "and Thornclaw, Spiderleg, Shrewpaw, Foxleap, Bumblestripe, Toadstep, Brambleclaw, and Hawkfrost as the contestants! With special guests stars, Leopardstar, Firestar, Leafstar, Tallstar, Onestar, Mistystar, and Bluestar! We really aim for the stars in this show!"

The closet opens, and out come the contestants, with a wary Hawkfrost, and Shrewpaw eating cookies.

"I'm not going to ask," said Mittens. "Well, anyways, R&R the first episode, and vote for your favorite contestant, the one you want to stay and become Squirrelflight's lover, because whoever gets the least votes is getting kicked off! Good night, and Drive Safely!"

**Not to shabby, huh? Well, tell me what you think about it, and vote for your favorite character on the show. The contestants are (In no presise order)**

**1. Thornclaw**

**2. Spiderleg**

**3. Shrewpaw**

**4. Foxleap**

**5. Bumblestripe**

**6. Toadstep**

**7. Brambleclaw**

**8. Hawkfrost**

**R&R and Vote for your favorite contestant!**


	2. Episode 2: Out of Control Interviews

**I could also use some cast and crew. **

"Hello, and welcome to Warriors Bachelorette!" said a snowy white kittypet. "My name is Mittens, and I have issues!

"Of course you have issues!" yelled Brambleclaw, who, incidentally, was tied to a chair."Why didn't you mention that the last episode!"

"Ummm...uh, moving on! Last episode, we told you to vote for your favorite contestants! So, time to say who's leaving! Why am I happy about this?" he cried, overjoyed. "Anyway, Our cat with the highest votes was... Brambleclaw!"

"Oh no," Brambleclaw cried. "Not again! I don't want to marry Squirrelflight! She's evil, evil I tell you!"

"Excuse me?" asked Squirrelflight, who was incidentelly listening to the convesation from backstage.

"Um, I didn't say that, I meant...umm you're beautiful...yeah that's what I meant." Brambleclaw said.

"You're talking to a she-cat in a tutu, Brambleclaw. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Anyways," interjected Mittens. "Our bottom two cats are... Foxleap and Toadstep... with help from my siblings... And the cat leaving the show is-"

"Please let it not be me, Please let it not be me!" muttered Thornclaw.

Mittens rolled his eyes at Thornclaw before continuing, "Toadst-"

**(Sorry, but we are experiencing technical difficulties)**

"And we're back on after that traumatizing attack on Squirrelflight when Toadstep tried to make out with her. Toadstep is currently being tasered by Hawkfrost, and Squirrelflight is being comforted by Leafpool, her slightly demented sister." said Mittens, regaining conciousness from being whacked by his own freakishly heavy baseball bat.

"Anyway, here's our first interview," Mittens said. "Brambleclaw, since you have the most points, you will start the interviews with Squirrelflight!"

Brambleclaw groaned before getting off his chair, and walking with Squirrelflight to the _big _closet.

"Dun-dun-dun!" sang the three musical cats.

Brambleclaw turned his head to the other contestents and mouthed, _help me_, to the others, which consisted of a extremely wary Hawkfrost and a Shrewpaw eating cookies.

"Now let's go to the spy cam," whispered Mittens.

**(We are experiencing technical difficulties, so please listen to mission impossible for a moment)**

"Now let's watch!" said Mittens.

"So, what do you like to do for a living?" asked Squirrelflight.

"Eat pie." answered Brambleclaw. **(A/N: The questions are Squirrelflight)**

"Do you watch iCarly?"

"No."

"Do you think you're a good guy?"

"What kinda question is that? I thought you were here to spoon feed me!"

"Whatevs! How long do you stay up at night?"

"What's night?"

"You're ofically outta here." said an irritated Squirrelflight.

**(We are experiencing fuzziness on the screen)**

"WHOA! WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN THERE! I THINK I'M GOING BLIND!" yelled Mittens. He jumped away from the spy cam and went to the stage.

"Guess what I just saw!" yelled Mittens. The contestants exchanged puzzled looks and then asked what Mittens saw.

"I saw Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight MAKING OUT!"

There was a gasp from every cat in the room.

"Cool, that was like the air being sucked out of the room!" shouted Shrewpaw.

"Shut up!" yelled Hawkfrost and Spiderleg.

"That cat-stabbing,fox-hearted, Dark Forest Decended, traitor of a brother!" shouted Hawkfrost.

"Who cares about you! My cookies are all out, and your pants have no more!" yelled Shrewpaw.

"Anyway, Brambleclaw is now getting ejected from the room in... 3... 2... 1... Hello, Brableclaw, had fun?" asked Mittens.

"Oh, um, uh, yeah." Brambleclaw responded suspiciously.

"What did you do?" asked Mittens, who was chowing down on a Monster Burger.

"Classified!" yelled Brambleclaw.

"Oh we all know what happened in there!" said Spiderleg. "You made out with SQUIRRELFLIGHT!" he shouted.

"Again, trailing off topic here, kitties," Mittens groaned, now fat. "Spiderleg, get in the room with Squirrelflight!"

"Gladly, and don't watch the tape little kits, it might give you nightmares and head trauma!" Spiderleg said, walking into the room.

**(I do not have enough time to write everyone's interview, so let's just pretend that it's 7 hours later)**

Thornclaw walked out of Squirrelflight's room, dazed. "That was the best experience of my life!" he said.

"Oh yeah, you'll get a lot more if you win." Mittens said to Thornclaw. He turned back to the camera. "Anyways, vote for your _**least **_favorite contestant this time, because the one with the most votes gets kicked off the show. And we also need cast and crew! Anyways, good night, and Dive Safely!"

**So, here are the contestants in no presise order. Vote for your **_**least **_**favorite.**

**1. Thornclaw**

**2. Bumblestripe**

**3. Shrewpaw**

**4. Hawkfrost**

**5. Brambleclaw**

**6. Foxleap**

**7. Spiderleg**

**Goodnight and Dive into your pool safely!**


	3. Episode 3: Two Bloddy Gashes

**It's time for the... SEMIFINALS!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own warriors, Bachelor(ette), or Seasame street. And let me answer your question. Yes, I said Seasame Street.**

"Hello, and welcome to Warriors Bachelorette! My name is Leafpool, your slightly demented substitute hostess!" shouted Leafpool, a bit drunk. "Mittens couldn't come today because he went to this wild party last night, and met this hot she-cat. He is currently in the hospital with Scorpi, the she-cat, wait for her to give birth."

"GASP!" everyone in the room gasped.

Then a voice from the studio called, "Get that drunk off the stage." He jumped next to Leafpool. "I'm the new host," said a blue-gray tom with sea-green eyes. "My name is Lightningstorm, and I am your new host!"

"Anyway," he continued. "Today, we'll start off with

kicking three people off the show: Foxleap, Thornclaw, and Bumblestripe. Pack your bags because you cats get good news and bad news. Which one do you want first?"

"The good news!" Foxleap cried as he ran away from Shrewpaw, who was trying to search his pants for cookies.

"You guys are going on a Hawaian vacation! But you're getting kicked off the show."

"MOMMY!" shouted Foxleap, as he ran off sobbing. Suddenly, Ferncloud appeared in a ninja suit.

"Hello, young grasshoppers," she said in a japanese accent. "My name is Sensei Ferncloud." She grabbed Foxleap, yelled some angry words at Lightningstorm, and then dissappeared.

"That was... Awkward..." said Squirrelflight, who happened to be wearing a big, pink, puffy tutu, and Shrewpaw was staring at it, as if to analyze it's cookie content.

"Hey, Squirrelflight. Do you have any cookies in there?" he asked.

"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER, YOU COOKIE-MONSTER FROM SEASAME STREET!"

**(Sorry, but we are experiencing Tehnical Difficulties. Leafpool attacked Shrewpaw and knocked all the sense, if there was any, out of him. He is currently in the hospital and is disqualified from the show due to two bloddy gashes in his face.)**

"I am offically scarred for life," Hawkfrost whimpered. Two seconds later, he broke down sobbing.

**(TWO HOURS L8R)**

"Now, the remaining cats must take Squirrelflight on a romantic dinner date. The date Squirrelflight thinks is the most dissapointing will be get a hate vote. Then you guys must vote for your least favorite cat. The one with the most votes will get kicked off, and the other two will make it to the FINALS! Now, Spiderleg starts!"

Spiderleg jumped up from his seat and walked holding hands with Squirrelflight.

"Dazzle me, Spidey!" Squirrelflight said as they walked out of the studio.

"Now, let's watch!" said Lightningstorm.

"Are we going to watch Berrynose?" asked Yellowtail, the camera cat. "I _love_-" she emphasized 'love'- "Berrynose so much! I even set up a death trap for Poopyfrost so I can become his mate! MWA HA HA HA!"

"No," said Lightningstorm. "And no more death traps for you, missy! Anyway, let's watch!"

The big TV changes from monkeys making out to Spiderleg and Squirrelflight at dinner.

"So," she asked. "What's your favorite food?"

"This isn't an interview!" he shouted, outraged. The cats at the other tables stopped what they were doing and looked at the Love Dove's table that Spiderleg and Squirrelflight sat at.

"Sheesh!" Squirrelflight muttered.

**Three Hours Later**

"So, time to go, Brambleclaw," she said. "Wait a minute, how are we sitting at a table like this?"

"Uh, oh." Brambleclaw said.

"_Mrrow_!" yowled almost every cat in the resturant as they fell down from their seats.

"That was a bad fall," said a random cat.

"Anyways, let's get back to the studio with my magic poofinator!" Squirrelflight said excitedly. Two seconds later, they poofed out of there.

"Oh, hello, Squirrelflight, Brambleclaw!" said Mittens.

"Hello, Mittens." said an irritated Squirrelflight. "Wait! Mittens? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I um, uh, needed to get something..." he said, holding out a key lime pie in his hand. "So, goodbye!" he said with a poof of smoke making him dissappear.

"What's with the poofing in this episode!" asked Spiderleg.

**So, the SEMIFINALS! For the FINALS, whenever someone says FINALS, think of a dun-dun-dun in the background. okay. Awesome. So now you get to vote for you least favorite cat!**

**1. Spiderleg**

**2. Hawkfrost**

**3. Brambleclaw**


	4. Episode 4: Mysterious Trenches

**Welcome to the FINALS! Please enter into the studio audience. Here's some popcorn; try not to spill it. Oh wait, you just did. Hey, Jayfeather! How you doin'? How's Sticky? When's the wedding? 'Sup Lionblaze! How's Dovepaw? Where's Hollyleaf? Oh yeah, she's dead! **_**(This Chapter is rated PG-13 or R for suggestive themes, intense make-out scenes, and chocolate bunnies)**__**Read at your own risk!**_** Btw, Yellowtail, you basically star in this episode!**

"Hello, and welcome to Warriors Bachelorette, starring Squirrelflight!" announces Lightningstorm, amd Squirrelflight appears in the room,wearing a big, pink, bushy tutu.

"Brambleclaw!" Brambleclaw appears in a blue tux.

"And Hawkfrost!" Hawkfrost appears in red workout clothes.

"Hey, why aren't I included?" Spiderleg demands, also appearing out of nowhere.

"GREAT STARCLAN'S KITS!" yells Squirrelflight. "MOMMY, SPIDERLEG'S SCARING ME! HE'S WEARING SHE-CAT CLOTHING!" Squirrelflight faints and hits her head on the ground. Both Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost rush to help her.

"HIYA!" yells Sandstorm, also appearing out of nowhere, and also karate chopping Hawkfrost on the head.

"Umm, I'll just be leaving now... MOMMY!" Brambleclaw runs away to Goldenflower.

"Great StarClan, what's with the babies on this show?" mutters Lightningstorm. "Anyway, Spiderleg, you're out out!"

"What do you mean I'm out?" he askes with a slight smirk.

"Spiderleg, we all know your tricks, now get off the sta-"

**(This part had been censored because of various stabbing by Leafpool to Spiderleg, and random makeout scenes as Squirrelflight switches between Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost)**

"Get Away!" yelles Leafpool as she chases Spiderleg out of the studio. "Shoo, shoo!"

"I'll come back for you, my love!" Spiderleg yelles over his shoulder as he runs to South America to meet The Man in The Yellow hat.

"Now that that's over," Mittens starts but is interrupted by Lightningstorm, who is currently, freaking out, as you twolegs call it.

"When did you get here?" Lightningstorm demands. Mittens ignores him.

"Anyway, Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost, you both have two hours to do something or another two hours, like getting ready, because in two hours, you'll both be going on a date with Squirrelflight.

"See ya later, Hawk_roast_!" Brambleclaw yells as he runs out the studio. Hawkfrost runs out after him, yelling, "I'm going to get you, _Baby_claw!"

"Now lets-" Lightningstorm starts, but is pushed off the stage by Mittens.

"I'm the host around here, _Loser_storm! Now get your butt off the stage!"

"What's with the name calling on this show? Hawk_roast_, _Baby_claw, _Loser_storm? Whats with that?"

"Anyway, let's check on the other contestants!"

_Toadstep:_

"C'mon, let's film the footage we need of Toadstep," hissed the leader of the camera crew.

"Umm, sure, Yellowtail," stuttered another cameracat. "But why do we need to read a handbook?"

"Because I feel like it, okay! Mow hide!"

Toadstep was was walking down a street, and saw one she-cat walking on his opposite, and another she-cat was walking next to him, though around five feet away.

_Here's my chance!, _he thought. The she-cat got close to him, and he jumped and grabbed her head. He tried to make out with her, but was hit in the gut by the she-cat's purse.

"That didn't go as planned. Oh, look, another she-cat!" Toadstep tip-toed over to the other she-cat, and suddenly jumped at her. He grabbed her head, but the she-cat pulled out a gun from the MeowMarines, as she used to be in that army, and shot Toady three times in the forehead.

"Well; that didn't go as planned." Toadstep murmured, and with that, he died.

However, the she-cat stayed behind, and kept shooting at Toady. Then she muttered, "Why do I keep getting the feeling that I'm being watched?"

"SCATTER!" yelled Yellowtail to her crew.

_Foxleap: _

Foxleap curled up in his baby chair with his blankie, watching Seasme Street, sucking on a bottle of milk. Ferncloud was in the kitchen, preparing a bottle of baby food.

"Foxly, awe wou weady fow sowme bawby-wawby yum yum?" Ferncloud cooed as she came across the kitchen to feed Foxleap in his baby chair, or bawby-wawby chair, according to Foxleap.

Foxleap snuggled into his pillow and said, "why do i hawe a feewing tat i am bewing watched?"

"SCATTER!" Yellowtail yelled once again.

_Shrewpaw:_

"Doctor, is he going to be okay?" Dustpelt asked the freakishly handsome doctor.

"We don't know, Mr. Cat. He's suffering from severe poked-by-leafpool-itis. We'll have to wait." And with that, he walked away.

Dustpelt crouched by his son's gurney. "Son, say something. Please!" Dustpelt cried, letting tears run down his face.

"Daddy, do you like my _coco-channel_?" Shrewpaw suddenly asked in a jamacian accent. "And why do I smell _coco-channel _in here.

Yellowtail looked to her crewcat named Brutus, who liked to wear _coco-channel _on missions.

"Scatter?" Brutus suggested.

"Scatter." Yellowtail agreed.

"SCATTER!"

_Thornclaw and Bumblestripe:_

"This is the life!" Thornclaw said, reclining in his yellow beach chair back.

"I know!" agreed Bumblestripe in a tom bikini. "Hey, pretty waiters!" he called to the hot waiteress', she-cats in bikinis that were paid to serve the two toms.

"Could I have my PlayTom magazine?" Thornclaw asked the waiter in the pink bikini. She gave a brief nod and walked away to get the magazine.

"And can I sleep with you?" Bumblestripe asked moony-eyed. The second she-cat, the one in the orange, lead Bumblestripe away so they can make kits in turned his head around and gave a thumbs-up before getting pushed into the room.

The second she-cat came back with the PlayTom magazine and sat down next to Thornclaw.

_Two seconds later..._

Thornclaw could only feel the sensation of Pinkie's (that's the pink waitress's name) lips as they pushed against his. He felt her push, and fell over into the sand. They were still glued together. Then Pinkie separated.

"Should we get a room, and make this a little more wild?" she asked breathlessly.

"Oh, yeah, baby!" Thornclaw whispered. They went into a private room, and two seconds after they got out of the room, Pinkie became pregnant.

A chocolate bunnie hopped along the beach and said, "Why do think my brother got eaten by cats? ANd is it connected to the reason I feel I'm being watched?"

Yellowtail and Brutus looked into another crewcat's direction, who's name was Burger. He was incidentally chomping on a chocolate bunny.

"Scatter?" Burger suggested weakly.

Yellowtail sighed. "SCATTER!"

_Spiderleg:_

"Oh, Squirrelflight, how I do love you so!" Spiderleg sighed to a life-sized Squirrelflight poster.

Yellowtail stifled a laugh. She saw Brutus and Burger to the same.

"Squirrelflight, will you marry me?" he asked passiontly. He then ran behind the poster and said in an imitation of Squirrelflight's voice, "Oh, absolutely, Spiderleg! You're the smartest, most awesome cat ever!"

Yellowtail, Brutus, and Burger were now sharing muffled laughs.

"Squirrelflight, now let's go sleep together!" Spiderleg said passionately **(I'm writing this on word. I'm doing the best I can)**

Finally, the fourth person of the team, Cato, started laughing uncontrolably **(Kinda like Spongebob). **Immideately, Spiderleg turned around just after Yellowtail yelled,

"SCATTER!"

_Berrynose:_

"Hey, Yellowtail! Why are we here?" Brutus asks. "Berrynose isn't a contestant."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just stalking Berrynose while I have the time, and I might set up a couple traps for Poopyfrost."

_Meanwhile:_

Brambleclaw walked into a jewelry store. There were two benches outside the store, one of them being used by a cat with a trench coat, same color hat, and a newspaper covered up high upon it's face. It was Squirrelflight.

"I would like that pearl necklace please," Brambleclaw asks the store clerk.

"Hey, yo, wait!" Squirrelflight says in a raspy falsetto voice. "I think I- I mean Squirrelflight!, would like the ruby ring better."

"Sure..." Brambleclaw answers suspiciously.

_That is so Squirelflight, _Brambleclaw thinks as he walks away from the store.

_Meanwhile:_

Hawkfrost is running on a treadmill, burning calories.

**VOTE FOR YOUR CHARACTER! **

**HAWKFROST OR BRAMBLECLAW**

**HAWKROAST OR BRAMBLESNORE**

**VOTE! **

**THIS IS THE FINAL 2!**

**YOUR VOTE COUNTS!**

**To fill in your forms to vote, copy the form below**

_**1. Who do you vote for? Hawkfrost or Brambleclaw?**_

_**2. Should there be a Season 2?**_

_**3. If there is a season 2, should it be Bachelor or Bachelorette?**_

_**4. Who should be the Bachelor? Any ideas for contestants?**_

_**5. Who should be the Bachelorette? Any ideas on contestants?**_

_**6. Do you want to give in your own contestants or crew? If so, please give them in with eye color, pelt color, likes, obsessions, and dislikes.**_

_**7. Should I do deleted scenes or the bachelor(ette)'s kits? Cause I got a pretty funny deleted scene!**_

_**8. Give me your review on this story in two sentences at least.**_

_**9. Who should the next host be?**_

_**10. Do you want Special guest stars next season?**_

_**11. Should I write this in script? ex. **_

_**Leafpool: HI**_

_**Squirrelflight: I like keeping secrets! **_

**Vote Now! And if a review has more than one question missing, then I will not count their vote, so **

**PLEASE VOTE NOW!**


	5. Episode 5: Who will be chosen?

**Welcome to the final episode! This is the ENDING of season 1! Please take your seats in our live audience! WARNING: This episode is rated PG-13, and is short. Please beware of the chocolate bunnies in the audience. If you get in their way, they will throw popcorn at you. If necessary, bite their heads off. BUT ONLY IF NECESSARY! I don't own warriors.**

"Hello and welcome to the FINAL EPISODE of season 1! said Mittens excitedly.

"What's with happy dude?" asked Hawkfrost.

"EEEPPP!" yelled Squirrelflight as happy as can be. "I'M GETTING MARRIED! EEEEPPPP! she continued.

"And I get outta here on a three month get away from this junkyard when this is all over after the wedding!" said Mittens happily.

Suddenly, Yellowtail bursts into the room with Brutus, Burger, and Cato behind her. "Guess what everybody!" she yelled.

"You know I have hearing problems, Yellowtail!" Hawkfrost whined.

"Anyway, Poopyfrost is dead!"

"GASP!" everyone in the room gasps. It was like the air was being sucked out of the room.

"Anyway, first, we're going to see the pictures from Jayfeather and Sticky's wedding. Let's have a look, shall we?"

A Slideshow starts playing. The first picture is one of Jayfeather and Sticky walking into wedding. The second is of Jayfeather and Sticky dancing. The third is the couple's kiss that seals the union. The fourth is of them getting pushed into a room.

"Wow! That's my nephew?" Squirrelflight asks Mittens.

"Yes."

"Then I'm getting old!"

"Anyway, now it's time to go to the Gathering Island!" Mittens.

_At Gathering Island:_

"Now it's time to see who gets kicked off the show!" said Mittens excitedly. "The person with the least mice will get kicked off. Every vote is a mouse. Now let's start!"

"The first mouse goes to Brambleclaw,"

"YES!" Brambleclaw shouted. "I mean, thank you."

"The second mouse goes to Hawkfrost,"

"IN YOUR FACE BROTHER!" Hawkfrost shouted, and he picked up his mouse.

"Brambleclaw."

"MWAH HA HA, HAWK_ROAST_!" Brambleclaw yelled as he started doing his victory dance.

"Hawkfrost."

"WHO'S THE WINNER NOW, BRAMBLE_SNORE_!"

"Brambleclaw."

"FEEL MY CATPOWER, SUCKA!"

"Hawkfrost."

"FEEL _MY _CATPOWER SUCKA KING!"

"Brambleclaw."

"Yeah, go my tom!" Squirrelflight cheered at Brambleclaw. Hawkfrost looks at Squirrelflight in an accusing stare. "I mean both my toms!"

"HA!"

"Hawkfrost."

"WHO'S THE VICTOR NOW, BRAMBLESNORE!"

"Brambleclaw."

"YOU'RE FRESH ROAST, HAWKROAST!"

"And with that, the winner is..."

"I am so winning!" Hawkfrost mutters to himself.

"Brambleclaw!"

"What!" Hawkfrost demands. "I demand a recount!"

"No," Mittens answers.

"EEEP!" Squirrelflight squeals before she runs to Brambleclaw. They make out for a couple hours, and then Brambleclaw pulls out a ring and places it on Squirrelflight. Squirrelflight squeals in joy, and then evemtually, Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw get a room.

"Hey Mittens!" Hawkfrost calls.

"Yes?" Mittens answers.

"Do you come from England?"

"Why yes," Mittens says matter-of-factly. He suddenly pulls out a cup of tea and starts talking in a british accent.

"Then you're about to become London Broil!" Hawkfrost growls before chasing Mittens to Africa.

**It's over! Though I will have three or four deleted scenes. Then it's time for Season 2. Now vote for these things.**

_**1. Who should be Bachelor? Lionblaze or Firestar?**_

_**2. Should the next season be separated from this story? Like in another story?**_

_**3. Who should be the host of Season 2? Jayfeather, Eveshadow (OC), or Simon Meowle?**_

_**4. It's your last chance to give in cats for cast and crew. If you want to, please give in job (Host, co-host, crazed fan, cameracat, camera crew, etc), eye and pelt color, and obsessions, likes, and dislikes. Remember that every cat will be used.**_

**PLEASE GIVE IN THE QUESTIONAIRE! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE QUESTIONS!**


	6. Deleted Scene No1: Shrewpaw's Song

**This is what Shrewpaw sang while he was in the hospital.**

On the first day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me,

One kick in the shiny butt (I looked there for cookies)

* * *

On the second day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me,

Two Bloddy Gashes

And a kick in the Shiny butt, (Oh wow that hurts)

* * *

On the third day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me,

Three punches in the face

Two bloddy gashes

And a kick in the very shiny butt (OMG I need cookies)

* * *

On the fourth day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me

Four atomic wedgies

Three punches in the face

Two bloddy gashes

And a kick in the very shiny butt (When will she stop doing that)

* * *

On the fifth day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me

Five wet willies

Four atomic wedgies

Three punches in the face

Two bloddy gashes

And a kick in the very shiny butt (Are my buttox even there any more)

* * *

On the sixth day of Bachlorettte, Leafpool gave to me

Six death threats

Five wet willies

Four atomic wedgies

Three punches in the face

Two bloddy gashes

And a kick in the very shiny butt (I can't even feel it anymore)

* * *

On the seventh day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me

Seven bullets in the face

Six death threats

Five wet willies

Four atomic wedgies

Three punches in the face

Two bloddy gashes

And a kick in the very shiny butt (Is it even there any more)

* * *

On the eighth day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me

Eight painful pokes

Seven bullets in the face

Six death threats

Five wet willies

Four atomic wedgies

Three punches in the face

Two bloddy gashes

And a kick in the shiny butt (I waxed there this morning)

* * *

On the ninth day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me

Nine pokey cookies

Eight painful pokes

Seven bullets in the face

Six death threats

Five wet willies

Four atomic wedgies

Three punches in the face

Two bloddy gashes

And a kick in the very shiny butt (Why'd you have to do this Leafpool)

* * *

On the tenth day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me

Ten whacks by a nunchuck

Nine pokey cookies

Eight painful pokes

Seven bullets in the face

Six death threats

Five wet willies

Four atomic wedgies

Three punches in the face

Two bloddy gashes

And a kick in the very shiny butt (When will the torture stop!)

* * *

On the eleventh day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me

Eleven gas windows

Ten whacks by a nunchuck

Nine pokey cookies

Eight painful pokes

Seven bullets in the face

Six death threats

Five wet willies

Four atomic wedgies

Three punches in the face

Two bloddy gashes

And a kick in the shiny butt (Why won't she stop!)

* * *

On the twelveth day of Bachelorette, Leafpool gave to me

Twelve smoochie kisses

Eleven makeout scenes

Ten apology notes

Nine heart cookies

Eight sappy movies

Seven love letters

Six chick-flicks

Five lovey phone calls

Four romantic compliments

Three cookie gift cards

Two new kits

And getting beat up by Crow-feather (Now I have to go back to the hospital)

* * *

**This is deleted scene no1. No2 is gonna be The Wedding.**


	7. Deleted Scene No2: The Wedding

**Time for the Wedding: Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw. With a hint of Jayfeather and the Sticky.**

"Hmm, what color should we use for our wedding, Bramble-Mamble?" Squirrelflight askes, lovesick.

"What do you think, Squirrely-Whirly?" Brambleclaw askes, lovesick.

"I think...hmm...RED!" says Squirrelflight.

"Well, I think blue." dissagreed Brambleclaw.

"How about pink?" Brutus suggested.

"YEAH!" the happy couple agreed.

"Why do we have to help the couple choose everything?" Yellowtail asked.

"Because," Cato started. "Everytime they try to agree on something, they start trying to murder each other instead."

"I'm just here for the fish and drinks!" Burger shouts, drunk.

"Anyway," Yellowtail starts, adressing the crowd. "We have new members on the crew and cast. Please look on the cast list for new cats:

Eveshadow- Amber eyes, purple tinged pelt, likes blowing things up with a bazooka, eating sweets, being crazy and hyper, dislikes moody cats, and stupidity

Blueheart- blue eyes, gray-blue pelt, likes Brambleclaw in tuxedo or Tigerstar in pointy hat, Obsessions are chocolate, lemonade, dental hygeine, dislikes Goldenflower, Mothwing, Sasha, Tawnypelt, and Squirrelflight, emergency nurse.

Patches(Patchkit)- small grey kit with yellow eyes, white underbelly, chin, and face marking, his idol is Jayfeather, likes blowing things up, goofy and happy-go-lucky

Waffle- long-furred gray cat with white underbelly, chest, and face markings, clever and cunning

Mama- clever and almost normal, a white cat with yellow eyes, brown ears, proud of her kits

Willow- multicolored she-cat with white underbelly and chin, likes to fill cavities with dynamite and soap, camera crew

Socks- Clever and a wiz in technology, black tom with white chin, underbelly, and face marking, camera crew, needs to take medicine

Snickers- small she-cat with white underbelly, chin, and face marking, cowardly, but has a soft spot, camera crew

Swiftstorm- slightly crazy she-cat with black paws and nose, makes ninja sounds every time someone says I love you

Skyfang- gray tabby with crimson eyes, loves Jayfeather, her lefe mission is to destroy Sticky

Pancake- black spotted tom with yellow eyes, security guard and leader of the Kit army

Dovepaw- you know her

Tigerheart- you know him right?

"Wow that was a lot of cats!" Yellowtail says.

"Where should the ceremony take place, my love?" Brambleclaw asks, still lovesick.

"Where do you think, darling?" Squirrelflight responds, still lovesick, but this time to the third degree.

"I am now wondering why I joined the camera crew!" Willow, Socks, and Snickers say, laying on the couch.

"I think it should be in the ThunderClan camp," Brambleclaw suggests.

"Well I think it should be in the Lotus Casino," Squirrelflight argues.

"How about Vegas!" Burger yells, falling onto the table the happy couple were talking.

"YEAH!"

_SIX HOURS LATER!_

"We're all done!" Squiurrelflight squeals.

"Huh? Wha? Is it over?" Willow asks, awake from her deep sleep.

"And I was like, baby, baby, baby, no! Come back!" Socks sleep sings.

"Wait, no! Mittens, come back! I want to make out with you!" Snickers sleep shouts.

"AHH! The light! IT'S SO BRIGHT!" Burger shouts, feeling the effects of his drinking.

"Where's my _coco-channel_? I need it so!" Brutus shouts

"Berrynose, come back! Poopyfrost is dead! Come to mama!" Yellowtail murmurs.

"Did we really do this?" Squirrelflight asks.

"Lets go in the bedroom!" Brambleclaw suggests.

"Yeah! Squirrelflight agrees.

**(This scene is censored for intense make-out scenes, four games of bloddy knuckles, and three kits in the making)**

"Do you, Brambleclaw Tigerstar Cat, take Squirrelflight as your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do."

"And do you, Squirrelflight Sandstorm Rusty, take Brambleclaw as your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Then by the powers of bla bla bla, you may now kiss the bride!"

Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight kissed.

_Twelve hours later:_

Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight are still kissing.

_At Jayfeather and Sticky's house:_

"Now, here's the plan," Yellowtail hisses to her crew, make up of Willow, Brutus, Snickers, Socks, Skyfang, Cato, and Eveshadow.

"Eveshadow, Skyfang, you two go get Sticky captive. Willow, Socks, Snickers, go bomb anyone who gets in perimeter of the house. Brutus, Cato, follow me."

And they went into Jayfeather's bedroom. He was clutching a bear next to him, and constandly slobbering on it.

_Two minutes later:_

"Hey! Whoa! Where am I! Where's Sticky? Sticky, no!" Jayfeather yells as he sees Sticky hanging over a paper shreder.

"Now Jayfeather," Yellowtail starts talking like the godfather. "we need you to host the second season of Bachelor. Will you volunteer, or do we need to make this ugly?"

"Oh yeah! And what if I don't? And who are you?"

"I am the Catmother. And if you don't cooperate, ugly things will start happening."

"Like what?"

"Skyfang," Yellowtail adresses the tabby.

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"I give you permission."

Skyfang grabs Sticky, and starts breaking it in pieces.

"NOOOO! STICKY! WE WERE ABOUT TO GO ON OUR HONEYMOON!"

"That is what happens when you don't cooperate, now we will take you away in a completely orderly fashion. GET OUT OF THE BUILDING! BOMB'S GOIN OFF IN 6 SECONDS!"


	8. Deleted Scene No3: Jayfeather's in Rehab

**5 REVIEWS! GOSH YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! By the way, anyone who reviews on this story, and my other story, Lightningstrike. **

**Welcome to the last deleted scene of bachelorette Season 1. This Deleted Scene is rated R OR PG-13 for drunk driving, suggestive themes, and unborn babies.**

"JAYFEATHER'S IN REHAB!" Leafpool yelled as Squirrelflight (or Squirrely-Whirly) told her her news.

"Shh, shh!" Squirrelflight hissed.

"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO BE QUIET, SISSY! MY SON'S IN REHAB! HOW WOULD YOU REACT TO THIS?"

"Well, first I would get a cup of herbal mouse tea, then I would call the news crew, then I would have a lengthy interview with them on this topic. Then I would go snowboarding with Brambles- Oh, wait, I can't since I'm pregnant with our kits" she said, patting her empty stomach.

"Hey, wait! Where's the kit! It must of slipped out while I was getting the litterbox ready!" Squirrelflight shouted so loud that Feathertail got woken up from her prengnacy nap.

"What's wrong?" she demanded drowsily.

"JAYFEATHER'S IN REHAB!"

"LITTLE SNUGGLEKINS SLIPPED OUT OF MY TUMMY!"

"Woah, woah, woah!" she said, grabbing a soda from the cat fridge. "First things first. What happened to Jayfeather?"

"HE'S IN REHAB, YOU DESPRATE DRUNK!"

"Hey, just because me and Hawky-waky got married dosen't mean I'm desprate! And I haven't drunk a beer since I got pregnant!"

"That was two days ago."

"WHO CARES!"

"Now what about 'Snugglekins?'" Feathertail asked, taking a big sip from her coke.

"He slipped out."

Feathertail did a spit take. "WHAT? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?"

"I have no idea," said Squirrelflight.

"Squeak, squeak!"

"What was that?" Leafpool asked.

"It was either a mouse, a kit, or a zombie squirrel." Feathertail said.

"Squeak, Squeak!" the voice squeaked again.

"Oh, hey! I found little Snugglekins!" Squirrelflight yelled in joy as she picked up a little kit with one eye only, a leg missing, and no tail. The half-kit jumped into Squirrelflight and made big waves before finally settling down again.

"Dosen't that hurt?" Feathertail asked Squirrelflight.

"No, now mind your own catwax!"

"Squeak, squeak!" A mouse popped out of Squirrelflight's tea.

"You get back in there, you big fat mouse!" Squirrelflight scolded. The mouse jumped into the air, did a triple somersault, and landed into the cup ina splash.

"Impressivo!" Leafpool says in a mexican accent.

"Anyway, I'm inviting you all to my house tonight," Feathertail invites with sympathy.

"Oh, no! We're not going into that black hole just so you can flirt with my husband!" Leafpool said angrily.

"I wasn't going to do that!"

Glares from Squirrelflight and Leafpool.

"Okay, fine! How about you, Squirrelflight?"

"Oh, um, I'm going to give birth tonight, so I gotta wait for Brambleclaw!" she said nervously.

"How about I take you?" Feathertail suggested, wiggling a pair of keys in front of Squirrelflight's face.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," she said, scooching away from Feathertail. "Not after last time!"

"What happened last time?" asked Leafpool curiously.

"Well," Feathertail started, looking up in flashback mode.

_*Flashback*_

_"Feathertail, why did you have to drink 6 bottles of beer before you started driving!" Squirrelflight yelled as she and Feathertail raced down the opposite side of the freeway, dodging all the cars coming their way._

_"AAAAAH!" Feathertail yelled as she swerved another car._

_"WHY ARE YOU GOING SO FAST?"_

_"BECAUSE I'M GONNA HAVE A WILD DATE WITH HAWKFROST TODAY!" she yelled as she swerved another car. "AAAAHH!" _

_"WAIT! NO! DON'T GO OFF THE CLIFF! DON'T GO OFF THE CLIFF!" Squirrelflight pleaded as Feathertail started heading toward the cliff._

_"NOOOO!" the two she-cats yelled as they went off the cliff_

_*End Flashback*_

"And after the help of many firefigher cats, we got rushed to the hospital and Feathertail promised never drunk drive me or be a drunk ever again." Squirrelflight concluded.

"Which was soon broken later that night." Feathertail said as she layed down on her belly. "I went driving with Hawkfrost and we made little Whiskers. OW, THAT HURTS!" she added as she tried laying down on her belly.

**I will soon be starting a story be kinda like a soap opera. The main characters will be: Brambleclaw, Feathertail, Squirrelflight, Leafpool, Crowfeather, and Hawkfrost. We might also add more characters as we go. IT WILL BE FUNNY! Maybe even funnier than this story. Anyway, Season 2 will come next chapter, with the standings as show:**

**The Bachelor: Lionblaze**

**The Contestants: Honeyfern, Cinderheart, Icecloud, Hazeltail, Heathertail, Dawnpelt, Blossomfall**

**Btw, I got the idea of the new story I'm gonna do from the New Prophecy Boxed Set. Author Alert me if you want to hear the story! And go read my other stories too!**


	9. Season 2, Episode 1, Intros

**Hello! Please procced to your seats. The second season is starting soon. Please, be calm and whatever you do, DON'T MAKEOUT WITH THE CONTESTANTS! This Episode is rated PG-13, but do I really need to tell you that?

* * *

**

"Hello, and welcome to Warriors Bachelor Season 2," Jayfeather said in a bored tone.

"BOO! SHOW SOME EMOTION!" yells the audience.

"Jeez, Jeez, ok!" Jayfeather says as he puts on a fake smile.

"Look at that!" Skyfang whispered to Eveshadow. "Isn't he cute?" she gushed.

"You can do way better than him, sister!" Eveshadow said, working on the key of the closet.

"And now, I must make a phone call to my friend, Ima Cutu, who used to work at McDonalds with me!" Jayfeather announced, excited, pulling a IPhone out of his white tux. Skyfang looked as if she was looking a shirtless jacob.

"Hello, Is this McDonalds?" A response from the telephone.

"Yes, I would like to talk to Ima Cutu. No sir, that is not a threat. Sir, I think you're misunderstanding this. WELL I HATE YOU TOO!"

"He's so cute when he's angry," Skyfang said in a wistful voice. Eveshadow rolled her eyes before opening the closet and letting Lionblaze out.

"Hey, why was I locked in the-"

"Um, why do you say that? You were making out with, um... Icecloud in the dining room!" Patches corrected him.

"ONE POINT FOR TEAM ICECLOUD!" a voice shouts from the closet.

"Shut up, he's mine!" another voice growls at the first voice.

"Who cares who's he is? I just want to make out with him!"

"Well, I already did, before the season started!"

"So that was what you were doing!"

"Lionblaze, please meet the contestants!" Eveshadow announched. "Honeyfern, Cinderheart, Icecloud, Hazeltail, Heathertail, Dawnpelt, and Blossomfall!"

The she-cats bursted out of the closet and rampaged toward Lionblaze. They jumped onto him and left him in scraps.

* * *

**Vote for your favorite contestant. Vote to start the season! And also, this story is not over! I will be doing the soap and this at the same time.**

**1. Honeyfern**

**2. Cinderheart**

**3. Icecloud**

**4. Hazeltail**

**5. Heathertail**

**6. Heathertail**

**7. Dawnpelt**

**8. Blossomfall**

**DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!**


	10. Season 2, Episode 2, Deathberries

**Thanks to everyone who voted! I got 24 reviews for the last chapter, more than I've ever gotten for any of my stories! If I make it to 100 reviews for this story, I'll update two chapters per week for the next two weeks. Also, my 100th reviewer gets to become host for two weeks. Sorry for not updating sooner.**

"Just pick him up and send him to the ER," Jayfeather instructed Blueheart, the emergency nurse.

"Okay, Jay," she said before picking up an unconscious Lionblaze with a tattered and torn black tux.

Skyfang growled in anger. "That's my boyfriend!"

"Boyfriend?" Eveshadow said with her eyebrows raised. "The only time he's ever talked to you is when he's gioving out orders!"

"Still," Skyfang said dreamily, staring at Jayfeather with moony eyes.

"Anyway, until Sleeping beauty wakes up, let's kick some people off the show," Jayfeather announches in front of the audience. Instantly, all the contestents appear in a poof of smake, and Hazeltail appears in front of Blueheart, who falls down and loses her grip on the unconscious Lionblaze.

"Ahh!" she yelled as she tumbled down.

"Oh, I'm sorry, miss! Let me help you," Hazeltail offered. Blueheart accepted, and after they got up, Blueheart stuffed her mouth with blue berries, not blueberries.

"Hey, this is tasty! What is it?" Hazeltail asked.

"Deathberries." Hazeltail died two seconds after Blueheart said that. "Hey, anyone want to be my assistant?"

"ME! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!" Blossomfall yelled.

"Well, since HAzeltail is dead, we'll just say that she's disqualified.

Blossomfall and Blueheart rolled Lionblaze away on a gurney.

"JOIN US NEXT TIME FOR WARRIORS BACHELOR!"

**Sorry about the short chapter. So vote for your favorite character!**

**1. Icecloud**

**2. Heathertail**

**3. Cinderheart**

**4. Dawnpelt**

**Yeah, It's going to be a short season so I can do another season after this.**


	11. Season 2, Episode 3, Coffee!

**sorry for not backing my promise. Only one more chapter after this. I'll do another season of course. This was just hard to do. **

Jayfeather walks into the studio with five cats behind him. The cats are Scourge, Firestar, a white cat, and a cat with golden pants.

"Yo yo yo! Sup!" the cat with pants says in a gangster accent. "M' name's Snazzypants!"

Meanwhile, Scourge and Firestar are talking while drinking coffee.

"My name is Rabbitpaw!" the white cat says in song.

"Great," Jayfeather mutters. "This is just like when Julie Andrews came on. It's The Sound of Musical Cats all over again!"

"When did Julie Andrews come on?" Scourge asks wildly, dropping his coffee cup.

"We were going to bring her on today, but the practice show was horrible."

"But I'm in love with her!" Scouge drops to his knees.

"Great," Jayfeather mutters. "Another movie star lover. Who here is in love with a movie star?"

_Three Hours later..._

"Jayfeather!" Skyfang yells.

"Huh," Jayfeather wakes up from his nap while everyone is telling their celebrity crushes.

A doctor walks into the front door.

"Hi!" he says. He looks at Firestar and Scourge. "Hey, aren't you two are like 'kill on contact' to each other?"

"We were," Firestar admits. "But then we found out we were brothers, and we had coffee!"

"Yeah, coffee!" Scourge says, dropping his cup.

Lionblaze walks into the studio with in a blue tux.

He frowns. "What's wrong?"

"The author has died, so you guys are now getting laid off," the doctor answers.

"NO!" Fallenshadow yells. "NOW I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY THE COOL WEAPONS CLOSET! I CAN'T FORCE TIGERSTAR TO MARRY ME NOW!"

"Didn't you already have three kits with him?" Skyfang asks.

"Yeah, but those were when I r*p*d him. And I could tell he liked it."

"How..." Skyfang starts.

"He kept yelling, 'Bring it on, baby! Bring it on!"

"Dang..."

"Yep. And I'm doing it again today."

"Do you think that'll happen with Jayfeather and me?"

"Oh, I know for a _fact_, that that will happen."

"YAY!" Skyfang yells as she starts jumping up and down.

"Anyway, dawnpelt is getting kicked off the show!" Rabbitpaw says.

(THIS SCENE IS CENSORED FOR FORCED MAKE-OUT SCENES AS DAWNPELT GRABS LIONBLAZE'S FACE AND SMACKS IT INTO HERS)

"That was tramuatizing!" Lionblaze yells as he is placed on the ground by Heathertail.

"He's not breathing!" she yells.

"Yes I am-" Lionblaze says, but is cut off by Heathertail performing KPR( Kissing preserve remedy).

Once she pulls back, Lionblaze says, "Wow, you're a good kisser!"

Cinderheart crosses her arms and marches over to Lionblaze.

"I'm a good kisser too!" she says indignantly. She takes out a deathberry gun and shoots Heathertail in the face. Then she bends down and kisses Lionblaze.

"Wow, you're an even better kisser!"

Icecloud the walks over. Stabs Cinderheart with a knife, and then kisses Lionblaze.

"Yeah, not so good."

"I love bunnies!" Rabbitpaw randomly yells.

"So do I!" Snazzypants starts doing the snazzy dance.

"Snazzy dance!" Scourge and Firestar join in.

"I love Lionblaze!" the three contestants yell while doing the snazzy dance.

"Goodbye!" Jayfeather yells over the music. "Please vote for your fav kitty!"

"Wait. Did we just break the fourth wall?" Lionblaze asks.

"We broke that a long time ago." Jayfeather confirms.

"The Author is alive!"

"NO!" Jayfeather yells while curling up in the fetal position.

**1. Heathertail**

**2. Cinderheart**

**3. Icecloud**

**Also, I'm starting a new story**. **It'll be about the 4 clans coming together. It includes Sky, River, Thunder, Wind, and Shadow. It also includes some tribe stuff and ancients. Vote and see you next time**

**-Lightningstorm**


	12. Author's Note

**I'm very sorry, but Bachelorette will be on hold until March 18th. I'm very busy with JAy's Rebirth, and I'm geting bored of it. But still, check out some of my other stories.**

**Here are some stories I will be starting:**

**WingClan: When a kit in ThunderClan is abandoned by his parents, he tries to rekindle his lost spirits by creating his own clan: WingClan. But when ThunderClan needs help, will he help them? Watch Wingkit grow!**

**HSD: High School drama  
**


	13. Season 2, Episode 4: Someone gets killed

**Patchkit, why don't you make an account? **

**This Episode is rated PG. I know, it's a shocker.**

"Wassup!" Snazzypants says as JAyfeather sucks his thumb on the floor.

"Hey!" protests RAbbitpaw. "That's my line!"

"Who cares?"

"I do," Jayfeather answered as he sucked his thumb.

"Isn't he just so super special awesome!" Skyfang says to Fallenshadow.

"You really have to stop watching Yugioh Abridged," Fallenshadow says.

"Why not? It's the most super special-"

'Say awesome and you're dead."

"...Okay. I'm going to go in the garage."

"We have a garage?" Fallenshadow shouts. "Why didn't you!tell me, I could've put in my car in there!"

"Oh, you mean the FRIGGIN EXPLOSION CAR THAT WILL BLOW UP ON CONTACT WITH REALITY TV STUDIOS?" RAbbitpaw shouts. "THAT THING KILLED MY BROTHER." RAbbitpaw outs up a dead rabbit.

"Sorry?"

"DIE!" Rabbitpaw starts whacking Fallenshadow with the dead rabbit.

Yellowtail, Brutus, Cato, Burger, Willow, Socks, and Snickers enter into the studio like an aviation team.

"We're back, _meows_!" Yellowtail says, coming in.

Jayfeather gasps. "Now we're cussing on stage! Where has the world gone!"

The garage door comes open, and Skyfang is inside a red truck, and she pulls JAyfeather in.

"Las Vegas, here we come!" she yells.

Mittens enters the room,fat.

"Sup, kitties."

"What the?" Fallenshadow asks.

"Oh, hey,don't worry. I had brain surgery in my bellybutton so I can live," Mittens says.

"How is that medically possible?" Fallenshadow.

Suddenly, there's sounds of a cat fight behind the curtain, and everyone runs backstage. There, Heathertail is stabbing Icecloud with a butter knife.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Lionblaze asks.

"Well, I told her that her dad could no longer do it, and that she needed to give him her reproductive organs, but she said that Dustpelt has robotic organs, so he could do it all century long! That is, until he needs oil."

"Really?" Fallenshadow exclaimed, and thn she ran off to the doctors' office.

"Well then, I told her that if she didn't leave, I would kill her with a pork knife, but I lost my pork knife, so I used a butter knife." Heathertail took a sip of juice.

"How is that medicly possible!" Fallenshadow yells from the hospital.

"How is _that _medicly possible?" Rabbitpaw asks. "Well at least she was going to be disqualified."

Scourge enters in a pink ballerina outit and starts dancing.

"la de de da! La de de da!" he sings.

Cinderheart and Lionblaze start making out vigorously. I would give you more detail, but you would have nightmares.

Heathertail starts steaming through her ears. Literally.

"I'm going to put and arrow through her v-"

"Hey!" Rabbitpaw says. "Let's at least try and keep it PG!"

"Fine, Fine!"

"Well anyway," Snazzypants says to the camera. "Why don' ya coolios go vote fo ya favorites?"

**1. Heathertail**

**2. Cinderheart**

**Any ideas for next season Bachelor(ette)?**

**And also, sorry for the delay. I said March 18th, but it turned out to be the 23rd. But on the 18th, I was really busy, and-**

**Heathertail- shut up**

**you heard her**


	14. Season 2, Episode 5: Finale

**Yeah, sorry for not updating for a while. It's just that I was working on some REAL stuff. For instance: school, novel, reading, and my personal life. But this chapter will be funny. Trust me.**

Mittens is backstage with all the cats before the show starts.

"Um, kitties, we have a problem."

"Whata Sorta Problema?" Skkaafaanga, Skyfang's desirable cousin from Switz, says.

"Someone teach her proper grammer!" Icecloud shouts from the crowd.

"Um, as you all remember, we bought two things from the kitty black market some time ago."

Mitten's phone rings. He picks it up, and Jayfeather says, "Now we're buying illegal stuff? Where has the world gone!"

Mittens throws the phone away, and it smacked me in the face. Ow.

"Anyway, the 'subjects' have gotten loose."

"You mother_meower_," Yellowfang says. Her aviation team nods in agreement.

"and on more pressing matters," Mittens says. "The Whirley Street Cats have been reborn."

"Mother_meowers_," the aviation team says.

"AND SO, A WAR HAS BEEN STARTED!" Mittens yells.

"5 minutes until showtime!" Snazzypants yells.

"Actually, it started 5 minutes ago," Rabbitpaw says, holding a dead and bruised rabbit.

"Oh darn," Snickers mutters as everyone gets in position. A pie is thrown in his face.

"WHIRLEY STREET CATS STRIKE AGAIN!" says a voice from nowhere.

"_MEOWS_!" Heathertail yells.

"Anyway," Rabittpaw says. "I think we all know who won."

Heathertail smirks while Cinderheart is teary eyed.

"And the winner is..."

"PIGSNORT!"

"What the **** is it now!" She gets run over by the Pigsnort.

"PIGSNORT PIGSNORT PIGSNORT!"

"EVERYONE SAVE YOURSELVES!" Mittens yells while Cato and Brutus are making out.

Fallenshadow comes in from her reproductive organ surgery. "OH MY! ITS A PIGSNORT. Pigsnort- native to my mother's stomach. Pigsnorts are the brothers of Snortpigs, and will often trample reality tv shows."

"HEATHERTAIL, WILL YOU MARRY ME?" Lionblaze yells as he gets on his teacup pig.

"H*** YEAH!"

"MEOW!" Cinderheart yells.

Heathertail gets on the Teacup pig too, and then get out of the studio.

The Pigsnort tramples Cinderheart, killing her.

"PIGSNORT!"

"CAN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE!" Skkaafaanga yells.

"'ello 'ello 'ello good chaps!" the Pigsnort says in a british accent.

"You just ruined the studio and thats all you have to say!" RAbbitpaw yells. "You also killed Cinerheart!"

"Actually," a weak voice calls. "I'm okay. Maybe. I don't know. Actually, I don't think I can feel any of my body. Help!"

"Well, I'm very sorry for that govner, but it's in my genes to do so," Pigsnort says.

"Now we've got to rebuild for next season," Patches says. "Hey Pigsnort, you wanna join the crew?"

"Oh would I ever!"

**That was the finale. I migt now start a new story called The Whirley street Cats. But they will have more cameos in the series. **

**Now, the next season will be Bachelorette, with Blue**_**paw**_**. I want some people for her. Specifically paws. **


End file.
